I Miss Christmas

I miss Christmas. The old one that I remember from child- and young adulthood. The rituals (as Catholics we would fast until about 4pm in the afternoon, someone had to get the Light of Bethlehem from the church, the tree needed to be done up, etc), the cooking, the praying (my grandmother admonishing us for being simply unable to keep it together and giggling incessantly during the rosary - but only because she SNORTED!!!), the singing in front of the tree, lit with REAL candles, and, yes, the gifts. All of this does not exist anymore for me. Now all I see is the machinery that tries to make us believe our loved ones only know that we love them, if we buy them large and expensive gifts. The Christmas redux that I see all around me, starting with the nauseating loop of the same 5 Christmas tunes in every store I enter (essentially since November 1st) that is supposed to get me in the mood to spend money I don't have for stuff I don't think anybody needs on a holiday that has nothing to do whatsoever with increasing my credit card debt. So, what gives? What does this time of year mean for a recovering Catholic with an aversion to cultish behavior of any kind, especially of the monetary variety? I like to think it means bringing a bit of light into each other's lives by letting each other know that we are THERE for each other. Especially when it's cold and freezing out and we might have another 3 months of this lying ahead. So, no, I won't go and plunder my account to satisfy societal mandates. I will however write cards and call my friends and family to let them know how much I love them. And yes, there will be a tree, because it gives us joy. But alas, no real candles.